Off-Topic

Don't drop the soap during rush hour.

Don't let ninjas sneak up behind you on the platform, and don't stand too close to the edge.

As do you.

This was about as helpful as asking Hogie for martial advice.

If you are using a smart trip card, note that you are allowed to scan your card ASAP after the person in front of you has scanned theirs. You don't need to wait for the gates to close to scan yours and hold everyone up behind you.

Don't try and run to get on the train when you hear the ding ding doors are closing chime. You'll just get half stuck in the door and be embarrassed when people on the train are giving you dirty looks and the train operator is yelling at you.

Use the reflection in the window when gawking/ogling.

No I definitely do this too. Especially because I have to get off at Union Station where the escalators are broken and you either be the first off the train and get on the stairs or wait in a loonggg single file line.

always have to do the front or last car, as they are the least crowded. i thought about stopping after all those people died in the collision, but it is totally worth the risk.

Always have the look that you're tired, pissed off, or miserable when riding the metro on a weekday. ESPECIALLY during rush hour. You don't want to stand out from the crowd.

Was a typo, but I'll take it.

This. The real trick is when you run and get on the wrong car, you work your way, a car at a time, back to the right one.

Sit there and looked pissed off so nobody sits next to you or tries to screw with you. They can smell fear and weakness.