Off-Topic

Tell people about your love for dubstep. But not in an ironic way.

don't worry, your son and allenbaba's daughters won't be listening to dubstep....but thanks to the law of modern music evolution, something wayyyy shittier!

I like to use my above-average verbal intelligence and knowledge of basic stereotypical behavior to make deceptively uncreative one liners.

Have you ever tried?

I can do a song here and there, but I downloaded a couple of mixes that were supposed to be great and I couldn't make it through more than 15 minutes before throwing in the towel.

I have to be in a specific mood for it and usually only 2-3 tracks at a time.

Yeah, one of my FB friends from my gym does this with his ipad and will link the rest of us to his sign-on, so it makes all of us look like complete FB attention whores. I usually try to just keep my attention-whoring to the suck and am not super-active on FB except for posting kid pics.

Get a neck tattoo.

You're a cute chick - how much time should I spend dressing like I spent no time dressing so that the irony isn't ironically ironic?

I just bought a dress with skulls to wear to a wedding. You don't want to ask me anything about fashion.

Thanks for calling me cute though.

I just had my special appointment, but I'm still 2 years away from the deluxe platter version.

Mooooooooon RIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I had mine last year, and the guy who gave me the exam is my wife's long time co worker, and someone that I consider a friend, although not a close one. I remember him saying " just relax, and this will be much easier on both of us". Ugh.

Thank God he had small hands.

whatever you choose to do you, if it involves beer you can only drink shittu beer out of cans.

i went to a hh last week with a bunch of ppl in their twenties and everyone gasped when i ordered a grownup beer. 'omg dude pbrs are only a buck!'

i had to explain to them that i dont work my ass off just to pound cans of the same shit beer i did in college.

also you need to eat a lot of fallaffell apparently.