Off-Topic

i just want to say to all thanks for posting in this thread

even though it's painful to read it's helped me understand my buddy jack's decision a year ago

I want to echo this. I really didn't give any thought to where this thread might go or what reactions might be. I was upset ad frustrated and basically decided to vent here and, as always, look for solutions. The posts here and the great support I received in several PMs were great. I've had my eyes opened to understanding some things that I thought I understood before. As always I'm amazed at how many folks have been impacted by suicide. Thanks for sharing.

if you never struggle in life, when tough times come you wont know how to handle it.

My condolences, RedDog

I have never had anyone close to me or associated with me in anyway committ suicide, until this past weekend. It wasn't someone I knew personally, but rather there is a 10 year old boy who I coach on my little league baseball team, whose Aunt had just committed suicide. We were in our playoffs and all the other coach's kept coming up to me during warmups and saying, something is wrong with J....., he's just not into it, he not running he's just moping around. It was at this point that I learned from a family friend that my players aunt had commited suicide. My players mom who was one of our teams and of course her sons biggest chear leaders could not, obviously attend our game, as she had to attend to her sisters affairs, also adding to the anguish of my player.

I'm not sure why I'm even telling this because it didn't affect me personally, but rather I guess I'm just sharing another story as to how suicide can be a part of all of our lives, sometimes directly, and in this case for me indirectly.

Even though I knew of the situation, my player thought he was hiding why he was sad, from me, and all I could do was ask him to try to forget for two hours, what was making him sad, and to dedicate his game to whatever was making him sad. I really didn't know what else I could say, because I didn't want to reveal to him that I knew the source of his grief and sadness.

It ended up being a close game, and by the end, I think being at our game definitely helped my player out, as I kept a close eye on him, and saw his demeanor change as the game went on, and his competitive spirit and will to win, ultimately came out.

I will see the family for the first time again this Saturday at our team party, and I hope I can just find the right words, if any at all, to say to my players Mom, whose sister it was that took her own life.

Just reading this thread now...

Jesus, my condolences, RD58 and everyone else who has had to deal with this...

Parlay, you are definitely on to something. There does seem to be something about Severna Park.

I dated a girl my frsh yr of college (actually the same girl I started a thread about here when i lost my v-card) and she had 3 friends kill themselves. It ended up not working but we still talked from time to time but one night my SOPH yr she called me hysterically crying from her dorm room (in La Plata) saying to come over. I walked in and and she had taken her razor off her venus and cut herself on her legs and arm/wrists. I will never forget walking into that room and seeing her in just her underwear with blood everywhere. She told me she did it all the time and had tried to kill herself a few times. She also told me the most of her friends had problems with cutting and anorexia too which I found out later was true.

I just don't get, girl is smart, cute, comes from a great family in a great area and has all these problems. I've met most of her friends and seen marks on them that made me think she was telling the truth about her friends too. Is it the pressure? Everything up in SP is just so perfect, all the girls i've met from up there are gorgeous, people are wealthy. I just don't get it. I grew up in MOCO and you would hear about one maybe two kids killing themselves every once in a great while but I hear Severna Park stories all the time.

Oh, and Crofton hit a huge point earlier with facebook. In your middle school/hs years you are insecure no matter who you are. It used to be when you went home, you could relax and be yourself and not worry about school social problems. With everyone having a facebook now it really is never ending. There is actually a term being used called facebook depression that has been proven to exist in people of all ages. It's incredible, people go home and look at all their friends glorious pictures and look at pictures of other people's lives and it absolutely causes a sense of inferiority and depression. During the teen years, and hell, some people way into their 20's n 30's, have a hard time keeping their heads up even without a constant reminder of how awesome everyone else is. It's too much.

For people who aren't religious and are going through some really tough and painful times, I'm sure the idea of just ending the pain forever seems peaceful after a while.

Absolutely. See my post from before.

Depression is a neurochemical brain disease. If it was a question of toughness or moral strength then the drugs wouldn't work; but they do in a lot of cases.

If you had epilepsy, you wouldn't just tell yourself to tough it out.

Go talk to a psychiatrist.

I'd like to thank all of you whole expressed their condolences to me. I really appreciate that you took the time out of your busy lives to do that. This is a very unique community and I feel lucky to be part of it.

I'm almost embarrassed by how hard this has hit me. I have very few moments when im not fighting back tears. My brother Frank was a very kind, gentle, compassionate, and generous man. He was quick to compliment you on the littlest of things, always hugged everyone when saying hello or goodbye, he was always more interested in hearing about you than talking about himself, he was a friend to many, and he loved everyone unconditionally.

He was without a doubt the most intelligent person I've ever known. He was a news hound, a sports aficionado, a champion of the underdog, and the nicest guy in the room in any room he was in. He was a UMd grad and a CPA. He loved the Terps, Redskins, Caps, Nats, and Wizards, and could talk all day about all of them.

I'm going to miss him a great deal. I'll miss his smile, I'll miss his laugh, I'll miss his bear hugs, I'll miss his high fives whenever I said something he thought was funny. My life will never be the same but I do desperately hope that he found the peace in death he could never find in life.

Thank you all again for your kindness. It means the world to me, especially that people here that are half my age care enough to reach out to an old man. You're very special people. Believe that.

- Bob Ward

You're an idiot. "Why can't people who are so clinically depressed that they make irrational decisions, just pretend they're not clinically depressed?"

I've been through some trying times, to say the least, but the idea of medicine that completely changes my personality has always scared me way more than my desire to experiment so I never followed through...needless to say, I feel ya.

I went through some rough times fighting depression, and I was put on anti-anxiety drugs at one point. i never even considered suicide until taking those medicines, and they made me actually contemplate suicide. Needless to say, I went back to the Doctor and got off of the meds, and never considered suicide again as any kind of option.

Does anyone ever listen to the ads for some of these medications including side effects? It seems that suicidal thoughts are one potential side effect of most of these medicines so be careful with them. They are not a panacea for everyone.