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Shooting at Varmints in your Yard

  • MisterSmiley said...

    And related stories (moved from the Randomness Thread).

    The husband of a friend of my wife used to shoot deer out of his second-story window all the time. They live in rural HoCo (although he's currently in jail on unrelated charges).

    Tell your varmint-killing stories here. Boycott the Randomness Thread.

    Are deer really considered varmints? I'm confused.

    This post was edited by 3minute rule on 11/8/2010 at 4:36 PM

    3minute rule

  • Not really, I guess I'm just using the term loosely to mean "any animal or person in your yard that was not personally invited." I just like using the term varmint. I guess "critter" would have been a better choice, but I didn't want to confuse people who would assume that I was referring to the movie Critters.

    MisterSmiley ●

  • One of the dogs is a coon hound, but yeah it would be mess. They did nail that big groundhog though, and woodchucks can be mean when cornered. However, raccoons are smart enough to stay out of the yard with the big dogs, when there are other, less protected trashcans to raid. Groundhogs, rabbits and other varmits, not so much.

    OttoMaddox ●

  • Reminds me of the debate about the term "brandishing a weapon" on the old board. FYI, a varmint is an animal that is classed as vermin and unprotected by game laws. Deer may be a nuisance but they certainly are not varmints.

    This post was edited by 3minute rule on 11/8/2010 at 4:43 PM

    3minute rule

  • We once had a raccoon scurry into our kitchen, and I grabbed a broom and left the door wide open chasing it around the kitchen island and out the door. Never corner a varmint. Leave the animal an out, and they will likely take it.

    Funniest varmint story I ever heard came from Dion Armstrong, the Defensive Tackle from South Carolina who washed out with the football team. The team reported to fall camp, and Dion was a no show. Ralph called the home, and Dion's Mom told Ralph that Dion was told that he could leave for school/camp as soon as he killed the 'coon living under the house and he had not yet done so. Everyone but Ralph seemed to get a kick out of that one.

    EliTerp ●

  • mschafe said...

    You've never seen one of these?

    I took out a neighbor's window with my wrist rocket. Steel marbles ftw! I was never suspected either.

    Many of Pitt's 58 "rushing attempts" were the result qb Tino Sunseri fleeing the pocket like a man whose clothes were on fire.

    Nolaeer

  • lol bk's story was such a bad story. jeessussssss.

    Canyonerooooo ●

  • JManslow said...

    Growing up I lived in a neighborhood with about 30 kids (25 boys, 5 girls) within 3-4 years of each other, so we all hung out. When we were 12 or 13, all of the boys decided to ask for BB guns or pellet guns for XMas, thinking that a few of us would get them and we would be set. For some stupid reason, all of our parents obliged, basically allowing us to form a Lord of the Fliesesque militia.

    Dec 26th, we all met while our parents were at work and climbed onto my roof and both of my neighbors roofs and laid waste to dozens of woodland critters. It looked like a Revolutionary War battlefield, just lines of birds and squirrels sprawled out dead. Right when we realized that we were going to have to clean that up, every parent got home and we all lost our BB guns.

    My dad still used it to kill varmints in our yard and at Thanksgiving two years ago, he shot my uncle in the ass after losing a game of drunken ping-pong and my mom made him give it back to me.

    That's the hardest I'll laugh all day. Thanks for posting that.

    RedDog58

  • MisterSmiley said...

    I saw a beautiful red-headed woodpecker in my back yard. Beautiful, but the bastard is pecking holes in my trees and fence posts, so if I had my crossbow handy I would have ended him. There's also something in my yard that is making holes in the ground, but I'm not sure exactly what it is. It kind of stays out of the middle of the yard, so it might be a snake. My winter plans include pouring napalm into the holes.

    I don't feel like a big argument today but this post really sucks. Serves me right for opening this thread in the first place.

    DarrellGreenFan

  • Sweet!LaserTag! said...

    lol bk's story was such a bad story. jeessussssss.

    Mission accomplished. stache

    bkmalik ●

  • DarrellGreenFan said...

    I don't feel like a big argument today but this post really sucks. Serves me right for opening this thread in the first place.

    Any particular part, or all of it?

    If its that I wanted to kill a woodpecker, do you feel the same way about termites? It's pretty, but it's destroying my property and being a PITA in general.

    MisterSmiley ●

  • MisterSmiley said...

    Any particular part, or all of it?

    If its that I wanted to kill a woodpecker, do you feel the same way about termites? It's pretty, but it's destroying my property and being a PITA in general.

    I really don't consider a woodpecker tapping a hole in one of your trees as the same thing as termtes destroying your home's structure. But they will kill a tree if they continue for too long so I can see your point.

    We've got woodpeckers all over the place and personally I like the sound of them going to work. A hole in a fence post or in a tree won't do nearly the damage of a termite so let's forget that analogy. I'm no PETA member and I've got nothing against hunting, although I could personally never do it. And I know I could never shoot anyting I had described as beautiful.

    .

    This post was edited by DarrellGreenFan on 11/9/2010 at 10:13 AM

    DarrellGreenFan

  • One more post to reach 40, Smiley.

    OttoMaddox ●

  • on my second throw i hit a rabbit in the head from across my neighbor's yard with a non-ripe (very hard) apple and killed it. it was really weird to watch it flip and twist and stuff. it wasn't a very good feeling

    2moreterps ●

  • If he had lived, he might have discovered gravity.

    edit to say: or at least velocity.

    This post was edited by OttoMaddox on 11/9/2010 at 10:54 AM

    OttoMaddox ●

  • 3-minute rule said...

    Are deer really considered varmints? I'm confused.

    Call them whatever you want; they've cost me 5K+ in damages to various vehicles

    Yeah I know I could drive slower but 4 miles at 20mph down a country road takes forever

    temporaryname

  • 2moreterps said...

    on my second throw i hit a rabbit in the head from across my neighbor's yard with a non-ripe (very hard) apple and killed it. it was really weird to watch it flip and twist and stuff. it wasn't a very good feeling

    Not a big fan of animals suffering but I gotta say that I am impressed that you can do what is obviously impossible for Donovan McNabb.

    DarrellGreenFan

  • I had a family of woodchucks in my backyard recently. They were cute until they started trying to dig under the foundation, so instead of lighting them up I just caged and released them into the wild/local park. The critters are incredibly easy to catch and it just took a few peaches. Trapping animals instead of killing them is a good alternative, just sayin'.

    Turtle

  • Yeah, I wouldn't really kill the woodpecker. It is making big holes in my fence posts, though, and that is pretty obnoxious.

    MisterSmiley ●

  • One summer I decided to take out the squirrel who was sifting through the bird feeder eating only the sunflower seeds and raking the rest of the seed out of the feeder. 24 gray squirrels and 4 flying squirrels later I decided to buy a squirreless bird feeder.

    This post was edited by hokthu on 11/10/2010 at 3:11 PM

    hokthu

  • MisterSmiley said...

    Yeah, I wouldn't really kill the woodpecker. It is making big holes in my fence posts, though, and that is pretty obnoxious.

    Good to hear it. The fence posts just look more realistic now. I believe the term is distressed. Joke's on the woodpecker, I'm thinking a fence post is a dry well.

    DarrellGreenFan

  • Turtle said...

    I had a family of woodchucks in my backyard recently. They were cute until they started trying to dig under the foundation, so instead of lighting them up I just caged and released them into the wild/local park. The critters are incredibly easy to catch and it just took a few peaches. Trapping animals instead of killing them is a good alternative, just sayin'.

    So then they disrupt the ecosystem of the local park, by either creating competition for woodchucks already there, or taking food away from animals that were already there. Best case scenario, they get eaten quickly by a local predator.

    Wherever animals are released they, of necessity, do some harm to something that was just minding its own business. All ecosystems are already at their 'optimum', unless they just went through a zombie holocaust or nuclear war or something.

    SATerp ●

  • SATerp said...

    So then they disrupt the ecosystem of the local park, by either creating competition for woodchucks already there, or taking food away from animals that were already there. Best case scenario, they get eaten quickly by a local predator.

    Wherever animals are released they, of necessity, do some harm to something that was just minding its own business. All ecosystems are already at their 'optimum', unless they just went through a zombie holocaust or nuclear war or something.

    I'm, thinking this is a reach here. My guess is a few woodchucks released into a park isn't exactly like introducing the snakefish to the Potomac.

    DarrellGreenFan

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