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The sports season is over, but that doesn't mean we can't already look ahead to next year and think about the potential for football and basketball season. And while some of you actually care about the teams on the field, I care about the posters of said sports teams: the optimists, the pessimists, the meme creators, and most importantly, the trolls. Let's be honest. None of us really matter, this site is all about them. We're just pawns in their elaborate Game of Trolls ("In the game of Trolls you win, or you get ignored")
This is an on going series highlighting the best and brightest trolls that IMS has to offer (think a more detailed "bubble watch" for the WPT). Let's give them the attention they so desperately want and crave. We kick things off LeftyTerp, the Lebron James of trolling.
Real Height: 5'11
Real Weight: 149 lbs
Twitter: None that I'm aware of - basic Twitter search just returned a bunch of results for Lefty getting honored at Comcast. I'm not sure if Lefty (the poster) would be amazing to follow or awful. No, wait, I do know - he'd be awful.
Premium Access: Yes
Stats: 2,167 posts/ 1,923 awful posts that make you want to peel your eyes out of your socket with a spatula. (an outrageous: 89% awful post rating). Member for 30 months
Great, "What if...": He really was Lefty Driesell? Holy shit my mind just exploded thinking about the possibility. My feelings about Lefty would do a complete 180. Just mentally picturing the real Lefty sitting at his computer ruining everyone's day makes me feel tingly inside. If Lefty Driesell has spent the last remaining healthy years of his life making Jeff's life miserable, I would start constructing the statue of him outside Comcast right now. Alas, it's not him.
Derp Ratings: 5 middle fingers on premium, 4 piles of horse crap on the Suque
Synopsis: Holy fucking shit, what a miserable sack of garbage. His posts are so bad, I'm actually surprised when I don't use a down vote on him. I ROOT AGAINST ALABAMA STRICTLY BECAUSE THEY HAVE LIMITED THE # OF DOWNVOTES I GET AND THEREFORE CAN NOT DOWNVOTE MORE OF LEFTY'S POSTS. He's the most boring, high road troll that I've ever encountered. There's never anything new or interesting or funny or shockingly offensive in anything he says. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE?! EVEN RAVENSNTERPS has made a successful one liner (I think?). At least flex trolls at a race baiting level, so you take everything he says with a hint of irony.
But Lefty brings nothing to the table. His posts detract from the conversation. When he posts in a new thread, that thread should go down on the page, so that no one accidentally clicks on it, thinking it was updated by a functioning adult. I can actually imagine him saying all of his shit with a straight face. There are times when I question whether or not he ACTUALLY believes the spew he writes (the "it" factor in great trolling).
I just hate this fucker so much. And at first, I was afraid to admit that - because I thought If I gave him the attention he craved, that he wouldn't stop. Well guess what, HE HASN'T STOPPED IN 30 MONTHS. He pays to troll! So you know what, fuck that guy. I'm sick of taking this guys shit laying down. "Durrrrrrrrrr looks like Maryland still sucks at recruiting amirite guys?" HILARIOUS LEFTY, YOU GOT US AGAIN!
In Conclusion: The other day I left my house and there was a small chipmunk standing in my yard. I snuck up behind him and kicked him across the lawn, because he reminded me of all Lefty's avatars. He's the fucking worst.
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
He is a bad poster (LeftyTerp, not you.)
classlessthug: I have too much on my plate to worry about the fact that my junk intimidates some needle D undergrad.
How do you do the bold thing?
square brackets around a b or i gives you bold/italics
close with /b /i inside square brackets
This post was edited by frode 12 months ago
That was really funny - well done.
You know you are a successful troll when people have to question whether you are a troll or just your everyday, regular run-of-the-mill mentally handicapped person.
"It's just so hard," Greivis said. "It's my heart, my love. Maryland made me who I am."
the one downvote is killing me
"I like fixing broken things" - Kevin Plank
The fact that there's a 100000000000000% chance it was Lefty makes it all the better. Even more so that he almost certainly stared at the computer screen afterward, grinning like an idiot.
Lefty is elite. Payin' to troll, awful on multiple boards, even the little details like the stupid avatars. It's terrific. It's a tough race with Lefty, RnT, NYCTerp, RD52, and Flex all in high gear in the past month.
"And I try to har-mo-nize with songs the lonesome sparrow sings...
There are no kings inside the Gates of Eden."
Didn't realize it was basically HTML tags.
G. I. JOOOOOOOE!
Noted above, but the fact that Lefty has premium and pays to troll is the best part. That was a great scouting report, I look forward to more in the future.
Lefty is a brilliant troll. He is right up there with Jay as the best troll this board has to offer. The fact that we aren't 100% sure if Lefty is real makes him a top of the line troll.
I just saw this, name one bad post that i make? I think they are all good and i do get compliments via PMs at times. Just about everything you say is incorrect For EX There are no chipmunks in my avatar.
This post was edited by LeftyTerp 12 months ago
"Turgeon has 3 key guys on current roster - Allen, Dez, and Jake - that have not improved." -Orioleterp
You guys shouldn't pick on Lefty. He needs his confidence to bang Jews during the spring and summer months. His is getting more confident so he should be hitting the bar scene soon.
This post was edited by Poopheirz 12 months ago
What amazes me as how quickly he has turned from decent poster to HOF bad poster.
He was a 2nd round exit in the worst poster tourny and it wasn't particularly close. That was, what, 5 months ago. Quick turn-around.
Do you have a twitter account?
LeftyTerp doesn't get under my skin like he does some here, but I had to upvote the OP's post.
I'm fairly certain he is just legit mentally handicapped so making fun of him is against my moral code.
No. This is jtp's doing. He's kept me around for his bizarre HOF resume.
Subtle things like quoting an extremely long post here are what makes Lefty a HOFer.
Please, please, please post the complimentary PMs. That will make my weekend.
One is from moodienc? but it has expletives (directed at current/past board moderators), would rather not post it.
Viper tells me he sent you a variety of derogatory PMs, but none that were complimentary. Complimentary meaning praiseworthy to you, positive in nature, supportive.
" LOL Complimentary PM's
Between MoodiesNC80 and you
MoodiesNC80 40 minutes ago
Ive sent him about 10 negative PM's"
As Veep said, you've been hoisted by your own retard.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say LeftyTerp was telling a fib!
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