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Clinton. He is the best talker. He talks the other presidents into lowering their knives, and then stabs them in the back.
Many of Pitt's 58 "rushing attempts" were the result qb Tino Sunseri fleeing the pocket like a man whose clothes were on fire.
Success in a knife fight depends of speed and accuracy, not so much strength!
Wait a minute? How long are the knives? Point of order here. Taft was so fat that if everyone were using switchblades, nobody could reach anything vital by stabbing him. Still I'd have my money on Andrew Jackson.
AJ was bad-ass. I was embarrassed when Sadam Hussein challenged Bush Sr. to a duel with swords and Bush was too scared to accept.
Per the article, I'm pasting the knife used:
Each president has been given one standard-issue  Gerber LHR Combat Knife , the knife  presented to each graduate of the United States Army Special Forces Qualification Course. Assume the presidents have no training outside any combat experiences they may have had in their own lives.
I'll take pleasure guttin' you, BOY.
Im ready for aa 5th of vodica to end my feels.
Jackson, Washington, and Lincoln are my final 3.
Here's a quick reference for presidential heights, although I'm a bit dubious of some. If only we had some sort of height expert lurking around here.
Anyway, if Animal Planet can do Great White Shark vs. Crocodile, I'm sure they can apply the formula to Presidents. Although, you never really can take into account human psychology.
So really the only way to settle this is to have every government scientist drop everything, get to work on clones, find a desolate wasteland to broadcast from (I guess Detroit will do), and COMMENCE THUNDERDOME!
Who does commentary?? I think we have to use Vin Scully on Play-by-play, just to bring some class to the proceedings. Although can you imagine the drunken, on-air ejaculations Musberger would be having as he gets to bet on a presidential deathmatch?
I felt like I should have issued an amber alert for myself, just in case
I may create aliases just to upvote this more.
I'm bumping this because it is more interesting than the election thread
Andrew Jackson EASILY takes all the rest, but gets knifed in his sleep by John Hanson.
He's had 136 years to stew over it and, Damn, he is coming back PISSED!
Official Website of Samuel Tilden, NY Governor and Presidiential Candidate 1876 - Lost to Rutherford B. Hayes by ONE Electoral Vote - new book, Samuel Tilden the Real 19th President , Written by Nikki Oldaker and John Bigelow and wriiten by John Bigelo - Revised by Nikki Oldaker
Jackson has the perfect combination of old man strength and pure, unadulterated craziness. The guy enters beast mode literally and that has to affect the psyche of his opponents.
When I was younger I did a report on andrew Jackson mostly because of how awesomely insane he was. Lincoln is a clear top candidate with Washington and teddy, but give me crazy in a knife fight any day.
Gerald Ford has to be dark horse here. He's the best athlete we've ever had as a president, probably had decent knife skills learned as an Eagle Scout, and was probably pretty tough.
Also, would FDR be allowed to outfit his wheelchair like some sort of battlebot? If so he'd be factor assuming that stairs aren't part of the battlefield.
Yeah, and Ford seemed like he was in decent shape as a president. That is just such a big factor is that this fight is going on when they were OWGs (or OBG in one case) instead of in their prime.
I can't believe I missed this thread first time around.
"You are mentally a cat and each post is a red dot from a laser pointer." - MisterSmiley
With Obama being sworn in today i guess I can put to rest my theory that Romney would have done well because he'd hold the gay presidents down and bully them. He'd also pay off tough competitors like Ted Dibiase. But it just wasn't meant to be.
What no love for Dwight David Eisenhower ? He kicked the sauerkraut out of Europe in largely hand to hand close in fighting. Albeit he had the likes of Pershing and Patton to pave the way for him (including the Band of Brothers and Tom Hank's D-Day group). He was so BA, that he is the only President in modern history where we weren't involved in some military action.
Getting everyone to stand down takes a BA MF no. 00 gauge.
Pershing? Wrong war dude. Also, no love for Jimmy Doolittle? Bombed Tokyo, then turned his attention to the Krauts and bombed them to the stone age running the 8th Air Force.
Ike was more about heart attacks than knife fights when he was in office. He gets hurt by the age factor. Same with hw bush
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