In partnership with CBSSports.com
Online Now 668
Online now 289 Record: 11761 (2/27/2012)
The Web's No. 1 forum for coverage and discussion of Terps sports
Visitor discussion of University of Maryland and college sports
A place for lively discussion for all other sports unrelated to Maryland athletics
Feedback for IMS and 247Sports
You have no favorite boards.
The most viewed topics.
The most replied to topics.
The most up-voted topics.
The most down-voted topics.
The most up-voted posters.
The most down-voted posters.
The most followed posters.
"There are some things in life that are simply unexplainable.
Why the Baldwin brothers are all so creepy, why the host of Food Network’s Cupcake Wars is such a douche, and why Americans rarely ever won the gold medal in Nickelodeon’s Global Guts are a few unanswered phenomena that I grapple with on a weekly basis.
However, I have recently tried to delve a little deeper into one particularly bothersome, unexplainable mystery: Why is it that the D.C. area is filled with ugly people?
While I do not claim to have perfected an exact scientific explanation, I have put together several potential hypotheses that I believe could all be factors.
Thus, I present to you five potential reasons why the D.C. Metro population is so ugly:
5. The Climate: Recently we’ve had quite incredible weather, but in general D.C. is pretty miserable from November through mid-March. That means that about four to five months each year, people in our area are super pale and wear bulky jackets to bundle up. I can only speak for myself, but I find ghost-white skin pretty unattractive and I think bulky jackets are really unattractive.
4. The (Lack Of) Fashion: Quite simply, the people of D.C. don’t have any. There are two radically different types of people in D.C. when it comes to fashion: People who go way over the top, like socialites or Hill-heads and people who just don’t give a shit, like hipsters or Occupy D.C. protestors. The over the top people are funny because they always look like they are headed to a Great Gatsby theme party. These people somehow think that pink pocket-handkerchiefs and initial-emblazoned cuffs are in. The people on the other end of the spectrum are equally funny because they wear the same crappy jean shorts and small rotation of vintage tees on a daily basis. They think that a faded shirt that features a soda logo is sexy.
3. No Beach In Sight: This reason somewhat coincides with the climate factor. People who live in cities with beaches nearby are determined to stay in shape year round. We don’t have a beach in our backyard, so gym motivation is sometimes lacking. The closest thing D.C. has to a beach is the Georgetown Waterfront in the summer time, when those fat old guys dock their fancy boats in front of Tony and Joes and try to talk young girls into joining their Spring Break fiesta. Not exactly what I call paradise.
2. We’re Too Job Focused: The stress levels of jobs in the District cannot be denied. Some people are dealing with super important things at work, and everyone else thinks they are dealing with super important things at work—even if they aren’t. High stress jobs leads to eating crappy food, drinking way too much, and not really having too much time to get pretty.
1. It’s A Cycle: This might be the most disturbing potential reason why the D.C. population is so ugly. Any beautiful people who come to D.C. won’t actually stay in D.C. long-term because they realize fairly quickly that we are an ugly city. Those people take their talents to metropolises with other beautiful people where they can fit in, places like New York, L.A., or Miami. As these beautiful people migrate to other cities, D.C.’s beautiful people population becomes smaller and smaller, leaving us with mostly average looking people. Those average looking people who remain in D.C. will then mate with each other to create a new generation of average-looking D.C. residents. It’s a cycle of ugliness, really…and there’s no end in sight. "
I feel like I should argue with this for some reason, but I just can't.
I was out tuesday night watching the SoU at a bar and was thinking that the truest statement ever uttered was that DC was Hollywood for ugly people.
I looked it up and no one really knows who said it first, but if I could find out who did, I'd buy that guy a beer.
If you think DC is filled with ugly people (or more so than most cities), you really need to get out more.
Im ready for aa 5th of vodica to end my feels.
Did you just admit to being UGLY? My, my!!!
Overwhelming majority of DC jobs are actually not stressful, they are lazy jobs (Federal employees). Lazy jobs have lazy employees which create lazy habits. Lazy habits create ugly people (fat, boring, stupid, ugly).
come to arlington?
ding ding ding
im sorry i was confusing...your "Superbowl" was the Redskins losing since you know that the Ravens cant win it all.
#5, #2, and to an extent #3 apply to New York City, so those are shitty (I can't imagine the vast majority of NYCers go to the beach often in the summer since they aren't loaded and there's so much to do in the city, although I could be way off-base)
"Maryland football: Where everybody gets hurt and the starting left tackle has an existential crisis."
DC isn't filled with ugly people but I think for a city of its stature it should be doing better in the looks department. It's kind of like UMD. Compared to many schools our attractiveness is just fine, but I think we lag behind our peers.
He missed the answer completely. If only we had that Phoenix area beachfront! Or That NYC lack of quality jobs! Or that Chicago weather!
Simply, the people who move to DC after graduating are a type of people who are generally less attractive. Some random pale, jorts wearing, non-beach going Ohioan wants to work for a non-profit and moves to DC for a few years. That explains basically everything. The "job focused" thing is ridiculous. I'd say that the more "job focused" you are, the better shape you are in.
Yeah, living in the city, this is what I see the most. There's a lot of hippy do-gooders in this city and that doesn't necessarily make for attractive people. Comparing lunch times in DC to the other business districts in other major cities I've been in is just laughable.
DC has pockets of really hot women, but no where near the quantity it should. And ALL my single female friends complain about the lack of good looking men in this city.
A high ratio of lawyers to non-lawyers never helps attractiveness ratings either
Politics is just show business for ugly people
And added to this, is the fact that the top tier of attractive people don't follow this kind of person. Surprisingly, Philly is a good example of this. Thousands of soon to be doctors move to Philly every year in the Center City area. Generally, these are Type A folks who stay in shape. Attractive people from all over the area move into the city to meet these people while all of the ugly people stay out.
In DC, no one is moving to Columbia Heights to fetch themselves a government worker.
DC people are too smart to be pretty.
I'm pretty and not all that smart. That's why I live in the south.
What??? You should see the Hipster crowd at the Brooklyn / queens beaches. Not everyone has a g$ Hamptons rental but a subway swipe or LIRR fare gets you right to the beach. I pretty much get to the beach every weekend if the weather is good.
This is all a ruse for Coltsfan to feel better about not getting laid
Detroit Hustles Harder
america as a whole is ugly and dc with its mass transiency is simply a microcosm of the country
DC people are actually thin compared with a lot of cities, especially the younger professionals who live in the city. Also it's very high income, and generally, the higher the income, the better in shape you are. But in terms of looks , yeah we're fucking ugly.
Maybe it's because DC jobs and industries attract a lot of nerds and/or the "teacher's pet" or "do gooder" type :shrug
which is why I added that last part...
what's better? ugly girls who put out?
or this video?
DJ arrives in Los Angeles, California after years in Murray Hill (New York City) to discover he's got no chance of getting laid. DJ quickly meets The Women of LA -- the good, the bad, the hot, and the ugly. Celebrate 2013 Valentine's Day alone...or better yet with the girls from West Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica, Brentwood, Los Feliz, and more.
Featuring PAULY SHORE, JALEEL WHITE, DENNIS HASKINS.
Created, Written and Produced by DJ Lubel & J. Abrams
Directed by Brandon Kusher
Track Produced by Will Forbes
Visual Effects by Ryan Wehner
Additional Vocals by Taryn Southern, Pam Trotter, Phillip Brandon and Jaleel White
Mixed and Mastered by Nicky Calonne
Cinematography by Matt Garrett, Andrew Penczner
Co-Produced by Jeffrey Baldinger
Line Produced by Alex Wolf
Associate Produce Nick Justicz
Music by DJ Lubel
For more musical comedy, subscribe to DJ Lubel on YouTube:
For YouTube or Advertiser related questions, please email PMCStudios@pmc.com.
Taryn Southern (http://www.youtube.com/tarynsouthern)
Rachel Demita (http://www.youtube.com/user/RADemita)
I had this conversation repeatedly with one of my female friends a while back and compared to other major areas I think its pretty true, but would also say that:
1) There are a lot more 'hot women' in DC than 'hot men'. This is good for us ugly guys, because some of the hot women will have to settle for us because there aren't enough hot men to go around.
2) As rough as it might be to be an ugly guy in DC, it would be infinitely worse to be an ugly guy in LA or Miami. Here we're just going to blend in with the rest of the ugly dudes; in those places we would stand out and probably have rotten vegetables thrown at us.
I think pretty damn funny but DC is not nearly the ugliest city. Any midwest city is much much worse
I don't know. D.C. is a very international city. Which is different than the majority of the cities in the country.
This post was edited by JAWTerp 14 months ago
that cuts both ways though, some people just don't find certain ethnicity very attractive in a lot of cases. Plus there's the extremely high rates of obesity with black and hispanic women that don't help this city.
247Sports In partnership with CBS Sports