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Bathroom Etiquette

  • I had to poop today and went into a public bathroom that was unoccupied. Soon after I sat down another guy entered a stall a few down from me and started destroying the toilet with terrible diarrhea. I'm usually pretty mature about these things but I started laughing uncontrollably at the sounds this guy's ass was making. At one point I'm fairly certain the guy was sucking air in through his asshole. It was relentless. Anyway, I was audibly laughing my ass off but this guy was not acknowledging me at all. At the time I figured he was just embarrassed but after giving this some thought, I think I may have offended the guy. There was no way the guy couldn't hear me laughing, so I almost wish there was some way I could commend him for keeping his composure. If I ever made the noises he was making in a public restroom I would expect to be laughed at, so was it wrong of me to laugh at this guy's expense? Could you keep yourself from laughing if you were either one of us?

    JPeterman

  • this is a good time to bump AllenBaba's employee explosion story...go!

    terpinnyc

  • Just read a story about a local man who offed himself due to overwhelming shame and insecurity due to his relentless IBS

    7erps

  • He may have been fighting for air, and had no time for your concerns.

    SATerp ●

  • For all that guy knows, you were blasting out some ultra-diarrhea of your own and it happened to sound exactly like uncontrollable laughter. I wouldn't have said anything either. I'd have sat and listened, fascinated.

    Or maybe he was laughing at your modest toot-plopping, and his laugh just happens to sound exactly like ultra-diarrhea.

    mrjah

  • Some people make a habit out of making these sounds at the toilet - to them, that's just how #2 goes. And the reason - they don't healthy. So fuck them. Laugh away.

    cathal

  • I've found that a quick slap on the stall wall and some emphatic words of encouragement can smooth these situations over quickly.

    frode

  • frode said...

    I've found that a quick slap on the stall wall and some emphatic words of encouragement can smooth these situations over quickly.

    Agreed.

    Play

    Austin Powers bathroom scene

    Tom Arnold takes a dump next to Austin Powers in the mens room

    http://www.youtube.com/v/TUPVtnIFkBU

    SATerp ●

  • I don't talk to people when I'm in a bathroom stall. It's one of my RonSwanson-esque rules for living.

    MisterSmiley ●

  • MisterSmiley said...

    I don't talk to people when I'm in a bathroom stall. It's one of my RonSwanson-esque rules for living.

    Agreed. Sink area is not preferred but allowed, but that's it.

    7erps

  • I also try to not speak to people at urinals, but if cornered I will mumble an acknowledgment.

    I am very mission-focussed when it comes to bathrooms. I get in, execute the mission, get out. There's no reading of books and magazines, playing minesweeper, chatting with the co-workers, etc.

    Just like Seal Team Six.

    MisterSmiley ●

  • People are too concerned. I have no problem holding a conversation with a friend while using a urinal or in a stall. People need to get over themselves and relax. If I or my roommate are in the can he refuses to talk to me even if I am asking a legitimate question. He feels like toilet time is some sort of saced peaceful time. I just feel it is time wasted and if I want to occupy myself with conversation or using my phone I will do so and don't care.

    Giants. Yankees. Terps.

    AreYouFor86

  • 7erps said...

    Agreed. Sink area is not preferred but allowed, but that's it.

    Yup.

    OrangeTerrapin

  • AreYouFor86 said...

    People are too concerned. I have no problem holding a conversation with a friend while using a urinal or in a stall. People need to get over themselves and relax. If I or my roommate are in the can he refuses to talk to me even if I am asking a legitimate question. He feels like toilet time is some sort of saced peaceful time. I just feel it is time wasted and if I want to occupy myself with conversation or using my phone I will do so and don't care.

    wrong, stop being that guy

    TortugaGrande

  • AreYouFor86 said...

    People are too concerned. I have no problem holding a conversation with a friend while using a urinal or in a stall. People need to get over themselves and relax. If I or my roommate are in the can he refuses to talk to me even if I am asking a legitimate question. He feels like toilet time is some sort of saced peaceful time. I just feel it is time wasted and if I want to occupy myself with conversation or using my phone I will do so and don't care.

    I don't smoke, so the "breaks" I take are piss breaks. I can talk to you at your desk, in the hallway, after work, etc...but let my time be my time.

    Edit to say obviously if I am in a restroom at a stadium I am obligated to start screaming Lee Greenwoods God Bless the USA at the top of my lungs just to see how many people join in, but that's it.

    This post was edited by 7erps on 3/28/2012 at 9:57 AM

    7erps

  • JPeterman said...

    I had to poop today and went into a public bathroom that was unoccupied. Soon after I sat down another guy entered a stall a few down from me and started destroying the toilet with terrible diarrhea. I'm usually pretty mature about these things but I started laughing uncontrollably at the sounds this guy's ass was making. At one point I'm fairly certain the guy was sucking air in through his asshole. It was relentless. Anyway, I was audibly laughing my ass off but this guy was not acknowledging me at all. At the time I figured he was just embarrassed but after giving this some thought, I think I may have offended the guy. There was no way the guy couldn't hear me laughing, so I almost wish there was some way I could commend him for keeping his composure. If I ever made the noises he was making in a public restroom I would expect to be laughed at, so was it wrong of me to laugh at this guy's expense? Could you keep yourself from laughing if you were either one of us?

    I couldn't even stifle my laugh just reading about it.

    TheColfax

  • Has anyone ever had to drop a deuce at a port-a-potty? I was covering a high school soccer game last night and afterwards had to leak bad so I hit the port-a-potty that was there. It's always the worst experience ever in one of those and I got to thinking I hope to hell I never get to a point in my life where I have to use one of those to drop a deuce in.

    This post was edited by billdc on 3/30/2012 at 4:59 PM

    Section 19 http://marylandfb.blogspot.com/ @Bill_DC on Twitter

    billdc

  • billdc said...

    Has anyone ever had to drop a deuce at a port-a-potty? I was covering a high school soccer game last night and afterwards had to leak bad so I hit the port-a-potty that was there. It's always the worst experience ever in one of those and I got to thinking I hope to hell I never get to a point in my life where I have to use one of those to drop a deuce in.

    I had to use one at RFK the day after a DC United game. Horrific experience. Hundreds of stewing Central American papusa/Modelo shits greeting me.

    HungryHerman

  • billdc said...

    Has anyone ever had to drop a deuce at a port-a-potty? I was covering a high school soccer game last night and afterwards had to leak bad so I hit the port-a-potty that was there. It's always the worst experience ever in one of those and I got to thinking I hope to hell I never get to a point in my life where I have to use one of those to drop a deuce in.

    This is literally my nightmare. I would rather let my stomach explode than go into one of those shitholes.

    boobs

    Incompl

  • I think the real Mr. Peterman would have had a dysentery story from the Himalayas to encourage your stall mate. But yes, I laughed from your story and would have laughed at him, or myself, if the stalls had been switched.

    TheRawDogg

  • I had to crap in a port-a-potty when I was in NYC. It was outside in the public/street right outside of Penn Station....they were doing construction on the bathrooms so you had to use those instead.

    I win

    "WE WANT MORE WE WANT MORE girl is providing the rallying cry for the 2013 O's." ~dh2k3

    JDawgBBall9 ●

  • mrjah said...

    For all that guy knows, you were blasting out some ultra-diarrhea of your own and it happened to sound exactly like uncontrollable laughter. I wouldn't have said anything either. I'd have sat and listened, fascinated.

    Or maybe he was laughing at your modest toot-plopping, and his laugh just happens to sound exactly like ultra-diarrhea.

    As soon as I saw the thread, I knew that jah would drop by to entertain us.

    Call me a relic, call me what you will, Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill....

    74umgrad ●

  • TortugaGrande said...

    wrong, stop being that guy

    Probably had a mother who decided to read "Everybody Poops" to him while he was potty training.

    This post was edited by SATerp on 3/31/2012 at 9:05 AM

    SATerp ●

  • In my opinion if you blast away in a public bathroom you are in no position to be mad at the guy laughing at him.

    DarrellGreenFan ●

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